I DON’T THINK SO, JOSEPH!

Those were the words written cross the top of my homework paper by Mrs. James, in red ink, and it sunk me forever! “I DON’T THINK SO, JOSEPH!”

But let me explain.

The 4th grade class of students was about to hand in their class work to the teacher, Mrs. James. There on the top of my seat neighbor Dennis Day’s, (His real name) paper was written something. I don’t recall what it was, but remember the conversation.

Me: “You wrote that on your paper!”

Dennis: “Oh, I write anything I want on it, all the time.”

Me: “Really!”

I decide to do my own headline across my paper.

“The Great Joseph Del Bloggolo” written boldly across for the entire world, especially Mrs. James to read.




The next day, first thing in the morning, Mrs. James returned our papers, and across mine was written: “I DON’T THINK SO, JOSEPH! Have one of your parents sign it and return it to me tomorrow!”

Of course this ruined my whole day, and the heat from my cheeks just from the embarrassment, let alone the shock that I couldn’t write anything across my paper stayed with me the whole day. As the day progressed, I started to plot how I would deal with this pending crisis, and the woman back at home with the wooden spoon.



I woke up the next morning, still not presenting the death sentence to dear old mom, and time was running out! Soon the bus would show up, and I had to get on it. Then it occurred to me. I went into the bathroom and waited. Soon I could hear Mom call:

“JOOOOOOSUFF-THE BUS IS HERE!”

I step out, paper in hand, and present it to her. The look of confusion crosses her face then one of incredulous wonder at the paper, she looks at me, signs it and I grab the paper and run like I was in a den of hungry lions. (That would have been easier to deal with)

That afternoon, when I got home, mom had cooled down. As I tried to disappear without making noise, I entered the house. STANDING IN FRONT OF ME STOOD THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH! Arms folded, she stared down at me (she was a lot taller in those days!)

“So, the Great (Emphasis on great) Joseph has returned, has he? And what makes you so great?”

“Well… I was talking to my friend and…”

“Did you hand in the paper I signed?”

“Yes.”

With her forefinger and thumb pinched together she begins: “IF YOU EVER EMBARRASE ME AND YOURSELF AGAIN, if you do: YOUR FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT IT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?”

One thing about mom, she usually made herself pretty clear.