THINGS HAPPEN!

It started one cold March morning some many years ago, Dad went out to the front porch to put some empty milk bottles out for the milkman, and came back inside with a baby with a note pinned on her.

The note was written on the back of a used envelope and said in effect; “Don’t bother looking for the real parents, we will deny it.” As Dad placed the bundle down on the kitchen table, Mom inquired as to what Dad had there and where was the milk.

“It’s our newest child” he said proudly and Mom thought about it and said: “Well as long as I don’t go through another childbirth, and it doesn’t make too much noise we can keep it. Now put the milk in the refrigerator before it goes bad.”

And so, we named her Joanne.

Joanne took her place among the covenant of sisterhood under the family roof, and was quickly indoctrinated on how to deal with an only brother. Learning to scream if I looked at her at the top of her lungs, making reports out on my doings and any other things that constituted her basic training were instituted during those formative years. She was assigned to a crib in my room, because we only had so much room with 4 other kids in the house.

Many a night I would be awaken from my slumber, and would have to pick her up out of her crib, make her a bottle and feed her, while pacing up and down in the dark.

The Foreign Legion would not take me because I was too young, and running away was not an option when there is banana cream pie in the frig.

Then one day I had a brilliant idea, which worked perfectly the rest of our lives! Every morning I would pin Joanne to my sister Mary Ann, while they waited to have breakfast, and to this day, Mary Ann claims that Joanne was her shadow wherever she went!

We didn't need another sister I felt, I wanted a pet turtle.

I kid you not.

Maybe a little.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNE!

LOVE YOUR ONLY BROTHER AND SISTER-IN-LAW