The other day, TLW (The Little Woman) and I had a conversation about sending an email out to enter a picture of my dog Happy into a contest. The dog and I could care less, but TLW said jump.
I send in the picture and call TLW.
Me: “I sent in the picture.” (See, I told you I did.)
“Good, which picture did you send?”
Me: “Oh, one of her when she was young.”
“Ah, Doug was wondering if you would doctor it up. You know, maybe put my picture on her face!”
Me: “Doctor it up! I don’t doctor up photos.”
“Well, he meant like you do on the blogue. You know, with photoshop?”
Me: “First of all, I don’t doctor, secondly, I ‘enhance’, doctoring sounds so criminal! No, I enhance, I bring something more to it, I get out all its beauty to come out. A pixel here, a pixel there.”
Suggestions have been made that I exaggerate from to time to time, but that too is false. I enhance, I bring drama where there is expectation, I bring conclusion where there is confusion, I bring silence where there is discourse, and discourse where there is silence.
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