Thursday, July 05, 2007

TOOTS, TOOTS, TOOTSIE OH MY!

Being deaf is half the fun, trying to guess what people say is funnier, but when you don’t know whom you are talking to on the phone, well then it gets to be real fun!

Whenever I call TLW (The Little Woman) at her wannabe bank, I dial in her extension and expect her to be there. Is she? Not always.
Sometimes I get another person sitting at her desk while she’s doing something else. When the person answers, and I think it’s her, I say: “Hi Toots!” She usually responds with dread or asks: “What’s wrong???!!!”

There happens to be a very nice lady who works with TLW, and most people say they could be sisters. Not only do they look alike, they sound alike on the phone. Her name is Lois, she has named herself for my benefit; “Toots II” She has become my second phone wife, a backup of Toots, or Toots I.

I am having difficulties with this concept. For instance: what is our anniversary date? Do I have to get her presents for birthdays, and anniversaries? Will she get angry with me if I don’t?

I feel like when I call I should ask: “Who’s this?” That would sufficiently cover my ass, not lead into embarrassment, and stop both Toots’ from laughing at me. When I get it wrong Toots II will say; “This is Toots II.”

You know, I need another TLW like I need a hole in the head; it would be another case of one to many.

No comments: