I KNEW THAT, SORTA

TLW (The Little Woman) and I operate on different wavelengths. In the morning, she is still operating on the day before, whatever unsolved mystery may exist, whatever still needs to be done, and tying up loose ends before she surveys the place to give me my orders for the day.

As for me, I have no idea what is next. I live for the moment and unless I’m working, live for each moment as it comes on. My planning is strictly in my head, as I try to put together clues about who I am, why and what I’m supposed to do.

Have you ever noticed that some people can use the same word over and over again? It becomes the flavor of the month? Well, I have been using the same two words over and over again for the past 41 years: “Yes, dear.” It’s simple, direct, needs no planning and gives me time to figure what she needs form me. If I deviate from those words, I will find myself in some kind of trouble. For instance if I said: “Dear, yes.” She would immediately ask me what I meant by that so there is no point in doing that.

When either one of us initiates a conversation, she begins with giving me the situation like I was watching a movie, and know where we are in this conversation. However, if it happened yesterday, you better brief me because it is out of my mind. OK, it is small, not a lot of room for extraneous material to crowd it, but I do the best I can. Curiously both my sons initiate conversation with me like I do, they will give me the subject matter and I’m on board, they know I can’t remember which right hand to use for the pledge of allegiance.

The other morning, TLW was on the computer, looking up housing for #2 son and said: “It looks like the same house, so I’m going to assume it is.”

“Huh?”

“It looks like the same house, so I’m going to assume it is.”

“I’m sorry, what did you say?”

She had looked on the Internet with #2 Son, and apparently saw a room offered for rent, that was of interest and so she assumed I knew about it. The only problem is you may think: Come on DelBloggolo, get on the same page with TLW! Well let me say, it was the first words she had said to me that morning!

Husbands need not say much, we keep our mouths shut (can’t get a word in edge wise anyway and shouldn’t chew with it opened) our ears clean (to take orders and process them immediately) and our hands empty (so we can carry out the orders).