OLD AGE HAS ITS BENEFITS

Getting older and being considered a senior citizen is an unexpected occurrence that just suddenly happens when you aren’t looking and least expect it.

Take the staircase for instance. Maybe not, maybe the elevator is a better idea. Only a few years ago I could bound up or down the staircase, now I look up first to see if the flight has gotten any longer since the last time it used it, and going downward, I hold on first and look at one step at a time. I used to fly up or down, not even looking.

That has transcended into the car I drive. I’m still an aggressive driver to a degree, just a little more willing to take my time, but don’t waste it in front on me by doing 20 mph in a 55 mph zone! My driving still keeps TLW (The Little Woman) alert and young as she holds on, brakes and sometimes closes her eyes as she sits next to me in the passenger seat, screaming for help. Getting out of the car is now becoming an issue too! Why do they make these cars so low to the ground, you have to get your legs out once you open the door, then get your butt out, no easy task anymore.

“Joe, watch out for that squirrel!”

“What squirrel?”

“The one in the tree across the way in the middle of the park!”

“Yes, dear!”

I have to say I have NEVER, EVER, run over a squirrel with my car while it was still in the tree across the way in the middle of the park! On the same token, TLW has saved in her mind, many a squirrel!

When I was a young man, I could down two steaks or three pork chops easily, with room for potatoes and vegetables and a nice salad, a few beers and dessert afterwards, today, one pork chop just about does it. Sometimes I think the unthinkable: Do I really have to eat? I should be losing weight, I should.

My tolerance for young women was very high once. I used to love young women. Today, they make me crazy, they seem to whine, be self-centered and loud, using language they never used when I was their age! Maybe I’m out of touch. At least I think they are young women, they could be aliens from Mars, since they all have their faces buried deep into their i-phones and i-pads or whatever.

Being that I am older, I could conceivably toss my computer and get away with it because old people don’t know how to use one. I could also and do get away with not using an i-phone or i-pad because I’m too old to bother to get one or learn how to use it. I simply don’t care.

Going shopping for anything is no big deal, when it comes to my wardrobe. I wear whatever I want, who cares. Recently I was going to a wake for someone.

“You going to the wake?”

“Yes, Dear.”

“You’re not going like that, are you!?”

“Not any more, Dear.”

Going to restaurants I used to think about what to eat before I got there. Now, I can say: “Order whatever you want and we can share it. Desserts: are definitely a share.

Getting older has made me more contented with my life. I enjoy the retirement, but not being idle. I still need challenges and find them. For instance, getting dressed in the morning, getting into an old pair of pants, then tossing them away and not think: “I’ll fit into these when I lose weight!” Then there is the question of coordination of clothing. Recently I discovered that checks go just as well with stripes as with no checks, because it still feels comfortable, is available when I reached in the closet, and it is fun looking into the mirror after I’ve dressed myself wondering how I turned out, and will I make anyone’s day with my choices.

Getting out of bed is becoming more challenging, and fun, as I figure out a way to do it. This can take up to half a morning if I let it. Getting my feet off the bed without tangling into the sheets and blankets is the fun part. Not swearing out loud when I can’t, making TLW wish she had married someone with class is part of the fun also.

Years ago, if I took a nap, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to sleep that night, not any more! No, I usually nap to rest up for my trip to the stairway to go to bed. And I do this without waking TLW up while she is resting up to go to bed, too!

Of course once I reach the bed, I have two choices, I can either read or I can sleep. I choose to read, but usually can’t finish the first paragraph that I learn literally in my sleep as I read it over, and over, and over again. Taking five years to read a book is no big deal to me anymore. As a youngster, I used to marvel at how Dad could take a perfect Sunday afternoon and lay out on the couch and nap, now I can do it much better than he could EVER do it. I’m seriously thinking of writing a book on it, except I keeping dozing off.

Well I hope this blogue hasn’t disturbed you.