I’M DEAD… OR AM I?

Well I went through a whole battery of heart related tests, tests to see if I am a candidate for a heart attack, and then spoke with the cardiologist afterward and he tells me he is very concerned. The last tests I took about three years ago indicated an almost 50% blockage of my carotid artery, but at the percentage they don’t do anything about it. After that they start to look at all the procedures. One is meds as I mentioned, one is inserting a stent made of mesh to filter the heart and the third is to cut my throat and clear it out.

So the good doctor says that the artery is now 70% blocked, and he wants to do a ‘CT scan’ to see how this 70% shapes up. He says I am on the verge of an eminent stroke or heart attack, meanwhile he says my heart is very strong.

So off I go to the radiologist and get scanned.

“Call your doctor for the results.”

Two days later I call, they call back and guess what? The blockage is less than 50%! There is no immediate danger of a stroke, no immediate danger of a heart attack, the only immediate danger is I will shoot the cardiologist.

I call TLW (The Little Woman) to tell her the good news.

“I’m breaking my stance and gun control and buying a gun to shoot the Cardiologist, the blockage is less than 50%!”

“Oh good, now I can go back to the normal routine! I don’t have to be nice to you!”

I’m thinking of a big old marbleized steak, a pepperoni teaser, a banana split with all the bells and whistles, and maybe some chocolate to top things off, maybe that will kill me, and take all the pressure off TLW.