GONE HI-TECH

Went into the local Waldbaum’s to purchase an item for dinner this morning, found what I wanted and proceeded to the checkout area. Being how it was early, about 8:00 A. M., only one checkout was open and it was occupied buy someone with a large shopping cart filled to twice it’s size, and had just gotten there. Well, I didn’t want to hang around and wait and was tempted to put my selection back and go home.

While contemplating my options, I see a sign hanging from the ceiling: “Self checkout here” and immediately a cold shiver goes up and down my spine! My Gawd! I’m too young to check out, and if it is self –imposed, TLW (The Little Woman) will never collect from the insurance company.

Being a brave soul, I decide to go over there to try to talk anyone who might have ideas of checking out by themselves, not to do it. As I get closer, I suddenly realize what it’s all about. YOU, check out your items without the help of a cashier. Immediately the shivers up and down the spine return! Me alone, out in the world with TLW just doesn’t seem to work always, and for me to follow instructions on some contraption is even worst news for me than I can handle.

Self-consciously and with great trepidation, I look at the menacing computer screen, looking around I figure if no one is about, and I screw up, I just drop everything and run. The screen has English and Spanish, just like Canada, another bi-lingual country. I push “English” and suddenly the screen comes alive, and a rather bossy sounding ladies voice starts telling me what I have to do.

“Scan item over scanner.”
“Place item in bag”
Sign on the screen asks if I’m paying in cash or credit card, dollars or pesos and if it is cash, please hurry up. I fumble for my wallet, looking for the bill to pay it; all I have is a twenty. I look at how the machine wants the bill placed and I insert it into the bill receptor. I think that the bill will be rejected, I will never see the $20 again, and I will wind up arguing with the store manager.

The computer sucks in the money and on the screen registers the transaction. Now the bossy voice takes over again.

"Take your change from the change receptacle, and your cash from the cash slot, take your receipt from the top right and take your purchase and get out."

Typically, another woman’s voice bossing me around.

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