THE SCOPE OF COLONOSCOPY INQUIRIES

Two years ago I went for a colonoscopy and they removed a polyp or two, so today I had to go back. Went to see Rear Admiral Spielberg for a pre-colonoscopy check-up, After waiting about a half hour with a lot of old people that were waiting for another doctor who shares the waiting room with my doctor, I couldn’t help but wonder if I am heading that way too.

One old guy had varicose veins that look like they are from map quest. In fact I think he was flashing downtown Hartford on his left thigh!

There was another old guy that shuffled in, very slowly looking around at the people in the waiting room, and he looked annoyed that he was going to wait. I kept looking at him wondering I knew him, looking familiar to me I was tempted to start up a conversation when I finally realized he looked like me when I get to be his age! Soar, with terse thin lips, and a bad attitude in a doctor’s waiting room.

There was a couple there that I found amusing. The husband came in tall and thin; with I think orthopedic socks, and a very ugly hat. The man weighed about six pounds and was very tentative to his wife, who went to the front window while he found a chair. After she did her business at the sign-in she sat down to fill out some checks, and he asks her for her pocketbook! His shoes did not match! She was all in greens while he was in dark browns and tans with a very ugly black and white hat.

When I finally met the doctor, he started to ask questions, and one of the questions was what I drank and how it was constituted.

“You drink Jack Daniels?”
“Yup. Jack Daniels Manhattans.”
“Do you use any Vermouth?”
“Yes, I do.”
“What are the proportions?”
“One half to one.”
“Ever drink the Jack Daniels straight?”
“No, er uh, sometimes.” (Remembering a couple of parties recently and a dinner last Sunday.)

I DIDN’T WANT A LECTURE OR A DRINK FOR THAT MATTER.

Tomorrow I have lunch with my old pal Bill Wortman, a creative genius that helped build the empire that is Publishers Clearing House when he wrote some very convincing copy.

joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com