The other day, TLW (The Little Woman) announced that I was taking her to breakfast on Saturday, and that she had a coupon to buy the “Big Sizzler” and get a “Big Sizzler” free! So in essence I would only be paying for one breakfast!
After the shock of knowing Saturday Morning was going to cost me money, I said, and I quote: “OK” unquote.
The big day comes and we arrive at Friendly’s artery busting, vein clogging branch in Ronkonkoma, and are seated, and the waitress arrives to take our order. Now before I go any further, I would like to state that I am not making fun of this woman, it’s just that she took me by surprise, and I haven’t been surprised like that since 6th grade and my substitute teacher Mrs. Paisley. Her head was turned toward TLW, but her eye was looking at me. When she asked: “What would you like?” I thought she was talking to me, and I was about to answer when TLW responded. Confused, I waited until TLW was finished talking and the waitress then turned her head toward me, that I noticed one eye was pointed at me and the other away. Well, this kind of threw me off stride a little, but I thought: “How convenient, she can look at two tables at once!” Now I apologize for thinking that, and I know it is cruel, but these things happen to me unfortunately, and I am ashamed of myself.
Anyway, as we are sitting there just starting to eat our big sizzling breakfast, as a couple comes in and passes our table, and as they do, the woman kind of looks at me like she might know me, or maybe self-consciously thinking; “don’t make fun of my girth” (I KNOW, I FEEL BAD AGAIN), and I say: “Hi, remember me?” As I say these words, I can’t help but think of the lady I saw in a Lowe’s store who I mistakend for my old neighbor, who was actually the church organist. But that’s a tale best left untold. Well she was the right person and we chattered a little bit, and needless to say, with that little triumph of mine, I felt confident until I mistaken another person in the future.
Finally finishing breakfast, I get the bill and it comes to $18.40, which includes the tax and $1.75 each for two coffee and refills! I take out my coupon and put it with a $10 bill and the check. TLW looks at it and says: “Is that enough?” I say “yes” and read the items off. TLW informs me that the free means only the breakfast, not the coffees or the tax!
I WUZ ROBBED!
I ask her, is there one or two “B’s” in robbed?
joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com
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