Friday, February 08, 2008

HOLD THE ANTI-GLARE

After my trauma of banging my head, I figured it was time to buy a new lens for my glasses. So, off I go to my eyeglass provider and a meet this little lady named Georgette.
Me: “I need a new lens.”
Her: “what happened?”
I explain.
Her: “Oh, my! Okay, follow me this way.’
I try, but just couldn’t get her walk down pat.
Her: “Now, let’s see, your phone number please.”
Although I find her attractive, I think maybe this is a little too early; I’m not even a widower! Then I realize, I’m not a name anymore, but a number. I comply with her request and await the results.
Her: “Joseph?”
“No,” I want to reply, “Ellen”
“Yes.”
Now let’s see, have you been here before?” Me: “????????”
“I think so.” (Why not play along, after all, I’m only replacing a lens.
Her: “Hmmmm….. says here you last visited in 2002! Tsk, Tsk, Tsk!”
Me: (Pretending) Really? That long ago? Wow, time sure go by fast, Huh? Well I’ve been busy you know. But if you notice, I kept them in pretty good shape.”
Her: “Do you wish to have an eye exam? Your prescription expired.” (Translated: we gotcha.)
Me: “Well, I just wanted a replacement lens.”
Her: “Sorry, we can’t do that without a prescription. You have a prism in the lens, and some money in your account that need work. I”ll see IF the doctor can see you today,” (Gotcha again)
Back a few moments later.
Her: “Boy are you lucky, the Doctor has an opening and can take you right away!” (No one is in the place but me!)
Me: “Oh, lucky me.” (The words of a dying man.)

Tomorrow: Going to the cleaners, and I don’t mean the dry-cleaners.

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