WITH POLARIZED YOU GET EGGROLL.

Sitting in the hot seat of the eyeglass provider, I suddenly felt naked and about to be victimized by my Greek mistress. Georgette was scanning the possibilities and scratching her palm. I had returned from the eye exam feeling like I had fallen on my head again. The eyes were tired and I was getting a little headache. I mean, after shooting air into my pupils, dousing my eyes with yellow drops and sudden shots of blue light in my lens, my eyes were tired.

I sat in the swivel chair as we began to discuss the fact that I would have to wait a few days for my new eyeglasses.

Her: “You will probably want a second pair for immediate use.” Said Georgette.
Me: “Yea, probably.”
Her: “You know, you should consider non-glare, you know what that is?”
Me: “No.”
She suddenly reaches into her pocket and pulls out this pair of glasses. One eye has a non-glare lens, the other doesn’t. She really looks kind of stupid.
Her: “See how one lens has a glare to distract my eye, while the non-glare you can see my eyes very clearly?”
Me; “Yes, but no thank you. If anyone sees my eyes that clearly, then they are too close.”
Her: “You know, they also have these new coating for anti-glare,”
Me: “Oh, I had that once, and didn’t like it. It left smudge like coating on the lenses.
Her: “Oh, they’ve improved that considerably.”
Me: “No thank you, I don’t want improved smudge marks.”
Her: “Ha-ha. You know, you should consider sunglasses.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll take a pair, that would be better that putting on those adjustable ones I have now.”
Her: “Yea, they just scratch the lenses.” (I have had mine since ’04, without a scratch.)
Her: “Why don’t we walk this way and select some frames.
I still couldn’t get the walk down right, and almost twisted my knee at one point. I think because she was wearing heels and I was wearing sneakers, not only that, my chest just couldn’t measure up.

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