Today I got a call from my Mother’s parish pastor, informing me that the application I put in for Mom was signed and ready to be mailed. The application was for an official document that proclaims a Papal Blessing upon her for her 90th birthday. The hope is to have it come from Rome in time for her party on May 10th. It will be a gift from all her Grandchildren.
The trip over to her church got me to thinking about what we as her children will be doing for her that day. Aside from the blessing, we are (I am) putting together a book of memories, and there I got an idea.
When Mom wanted to discipline, she used Gentle Persuasion. One would think: kind, gentle prodding, perhaps with a firm attitude. No: that is what I named her wooden spoon. She used to get my cooperation or attention with the instrument. I named all her wooden spoons through the years. There was; “The MM Kind and Firm”, one of her favorites, “The MM Or Else”, the ever present “MM De-aggrevator” and the “MM Terminator” which lasted for a LONG time. You must be wondering what the MM designation means. It was my habit to name her spoons like the US Navy named their ships. “MM” stands for “Momma Mia’s.”
Why not present her with an “Official” golden wooden spoon; just like the one, I gave her for her 75th birthday, but with a Plaque, with the inscription: “To Olympia, Mother of Del Bloggolo’s everywhere. For Pasta and Obedience, as long as both are needed. The MM Gentle Persuasian II. With Love While Still In Pain, Your Favorite Son.”
To this day, whenever she buys a new wooden spoon, she still comes to my house to hit me with it, just to be sure she has quality, hasn’t lost her touch, and remind me that I’m not too big or too old to get hit by her.
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Looking for a way out of this miserable blog. Contemplated suicide but felt it was too expensive? Try writing to: joedelbroccolo@yahoo.com, tell him: “When I get MY new wooden spoon, wait until I get my hands on YOU!”
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