IT NEVER FAILS!

After we purchased the washing machine, we needed to clear a path, and disconnect for the arrival of the new machine. TLW (The Little Woman) likes to have the machine in our garage, since it is attached to the house. Having an attached garage is handy, you can toss anything in it on a moments notice, if company comes. This means clothes and things, and yes, even kids, if they are lying around. Then once company leaves, you can retrieve it. That is how we discovered #2 Son!

Coming home from Lowe’s, I went right to work. This would be easy! Disconnect the old hose from the water line, and wait for the new machine to come. Right? No? You sense something?

For me, the only thing that comes easy is trouble! The easier I think it will be, the more trouble it is. I disconnect the cold-water hose, piece of cake! I look at the hot water, uh, oh! The knob to turn off the water is broken!

The dummies, when they installed the old machine, must have broken the knob! The knob now has broken sharp points on it, that mean I need to wrap a towel around it to turn. It wouldn’t turn! It was frozen. I try to unscrew the knob, but the screw falls behind the knob, and disappears, along with my patience and youth.

Water is starting to leak from the valve; it is now at crisis point! It is Sunday; you can’t get a plumber to come, unless he charges me $40,000,000.28 for coming!

Out comes a monkey wrench, and the chief monkey grabs it, tries to turn the knob, but it only bends the pipe. Meanwhile, TLW runs out to Sears to get me a new Knob, and comes back with a whole assembly that you need to put to the pipe.

Okay, don’t panic I think. Jumping up and down, swearing in English, Italian and a little Yiddish I picked up from Sam Schwartz, I devise a plan. Finally, with the aid of the towel, I close off the tap. The leaking stops! I decided to put everything back the way it is. Keep the water off, and don’t replace the knob! I figure, when the new machine goes, we sell the house! I WILL LET THE INSTALLERS HOOK UP THE MACHINE, HIDE WHEN THEY DO, THEN PUT ON THE WATER when they leave!

They finally come, install the machine, and one says: “You may need a plumber, you have a leaky valve!” Thank you doctor!

Please remember DD, and all those that need our prayers.