Thursday, June 25, 2020

HE WHO CONTROLS THE REMOTE…



Has all the power!

TLW (The Little Woman) and I watch a lot of TV with this shut-in pandemic. We watch things that we record on our cable DVD, on Optimum, Apple TV, and Amazon Prime, along with what we record from the TV itself.

Usually, we watch what is recorded while eating dinner and haven’t eaten at the kitchen table in quite a while. Just the two of us affords us a casual attitude about dining. Such shows as; The Profit, Last Tango in Halifax, Billions, and what not, has made for some interesting TV dramas.

Being she is a woman, TLW usually controls the remote, starting, pausing, and fast-forwarding as needed. But she does have a heavy thumb that can at times fall asleep at the stop button, or move forward at the speed of light beyond the point necessary. When I experience this, I usually call out, in a very helpful way, calling her attention to her poor and unprofessional way she handles the remote.

“WHOOOAAAA, you went too far! Back, more, more, whoa, a little forward!”

Now you would think my coaching would be helpful, appreciated, and yes, even welcomed? No, it is scorned, put to flight, dissed.

Every now and then, I get to operate the remote and the pressure can be overwhelming, as I must be diligent or else I will get what I so lovingly give but get instead, “I am really enjoying myself tonight, now that YOU have the remote!” Then: “WHOOOAAAA, you went too far! Back, more, more, whoa, a little forward!”

Well! This puts me on a higher alert, more diligent than before, more at the ready to pause when needed or fast-forwards as needed. As the show went on and I practiced my trade, I notice she hasn’t commented anymore, so I snuck a peek, and sure enough, all that caution and diligence was all for naught, she looked like Ingemar Johansson at the end of the second Patterson/ Johansson fight.

Women.

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