A WHIRLPOOL OF LOVE!

She checked the newspapers, looked for all the flyers and ads she could muster up. She went through Newsday and the Daily News; her mind was made up. We were going out for a new washing machine at Lowe’s. TLW (The Little Woman), based on the repairman’s recommendation, was seeking a Whirlpool. We had what we thought was a reliable name in GE, and we discovered 6 years is too soon for a washing machine to die with just 3 people living in the house.

Arriving at Lowe’s we parked the car right in front and went directly to the washing machine section. Walking around and kicking all the tires, we came to an agreement; it was a large drum, with a lot of bells and whistles. Now all we needed was a salesperson!

TLW looked high, and me being a groveling husband looked low. We ran into each other and continued our search. Finally deep in another department, unloading a skip are two Lowe’s people. One is a young lady and one a young man.

“Miss? Can you send someone to your appliance section?”

Miss Lowe’s worker: Looking annoyed says: “Why the manager is RIGHT HERE!” pointing to the young fellow. (How dumb of us, why wouldn’t he be unloading a skid in an unrelated department, miles away?

“Thankew!”

After about 15 minutes, he is found talking to another potential customer, and I am getting a little unhappy seeing that. Finally, he arrives, and as we talk, we are interrupted about 3 times by people who think they are the only ones on the planet. (Oh! I know he is talking to you, BUT I NEED HELP.)

We make the decision to buy, and he gives us a mountain of papers, and instructions to go with them.

“You will pay for this at the register, they will give you a receipt, print on the back of this folder will be a record of the purchase, your sales number, height and weight, slip the paper into this pocket, you will stand and wait for a second receipt, ignoring all the antsy people waiting behind you who only have one item they are purchasing, including the rude people that interrupted you and me at the beginning of this conversation, the store will call you tonight between 7 and 9 peeyem to tell you when the delivery will be made, turn around three times and stick your finger in your nose and you will have a bubble pop from the free nostril, do you want us to deliver or are your taking it with you?”

TLW and me in unison: “Huh?”

TLW and I are now reduced to schlepping over to the checkout counter. Behind us is a hostile woman. The hostile woman is armed with a store wagon that has a small box of curtain hooks and that’s it. She is looking at me while we are being interrogated by the checkout woman. The hostile woman is starting to look annoyed that she has to wait for us. She is starting to take more space up with her carriage, and is inching closer to me. (This will make the checkout girl and us speed it up).

Finally, with both our lives and our sanity, we leave the store.

Please remember DD and all those that need our prayers