ANOTHER PUBLIC SERVICE

This year, another young man in my family is getting married. The Macaroni Man is leaping in where others have leaped, and never been heard form since. (They can’t get a word in edge-wise) Next year, similarly, #1 Son will be tying the knot, in the never-ending cycle of true love.

As a public service to all you young men, the editors of DelBloggolo offer the following tips to a happy life.
It’s your anniversary, or her birthday (same thing) you are out there somewhere in a card store looking to buy the little woman a card to commemorate the occasion. You reach in the rack that says ‘Anniversary’ or ‘Her Birthday’, and grab the first card you see. It is the ONLY card you look at and you bring it to the counter to pay for it. Yet somehow, there is in the back of your mind, a nagging sensation! What could it be, the cost of the card? You’d think she’d be proud of you, buying something 50% off in the Dollar Store! No, I may not be the price! No something else is amiss, but you just can’t put your finger on it!

You go home and put the card with the new mop you bought her for her special day knowing she will be so surprised by your thoughtfulness of a gift AND a card! Eagerly you wait for her to open the present. “Yes” you say to yourself, “this is really going to knock her out, she will love THIS mop, it has a rubber grip and a metal squeezer so she can do the floors almost mechanically, without too much effort. Why she may not put that mop down for a whole week. Between the grip and the squeezer, she should be quiet when the game comes on!”

But something goes amiss! “What could that ever be, Joe Bob?” you say.

I say two things: 1) Don’t call me Joe Bob, and B) she reaches for the card first!

“This the card you picked out?”

“Yes, dear” you are beaming.

“You didn’t spend at least 20 minutes looking at cards before you purchased this one, did you?”

Yes, they know! They know everything! There is nothing you can hide from them. Be afraid, be VERY afraid!