HOW IT HURTS

There is a couple that I reconnected with from the reunion, a couple that I respect and admire. They were high school sweethearts and married after graduation. When we sent out feelers for the reunion, they were one of the first to respond, and even created a website for the reunion, with pictures and info.

Then I got an email from her that he has cancer of the esophagus, and suddenly, things are not so great for me! I feel that we have lost too many classmates, and too many of us are ill. These two are like gold, this shouldn’t happen.

He is a great guy, always was, never had a bad day with a classmate that I can remember, and she was so filled with spirit then and still has that spirit now. They are in a nutshell: a class act!

So where do I go from here? Where do I go to get some relief from the sadness of it all? Everyday a new story comes to light, a new sadness avails itself to darken the day. What do you do? I know I want to be there for them when they have the operation, when they face the tough choices, and I want to be there when they get the good news. I want to see these people, who I don’t think ever hurt anyone, laugh again, and enjoy a long life together.

Ma la vita cos’è? Tutto o niente!

It seems some of us go through life and nothing happens that changes us, and some of us, everything happens, and constantly molds us into new forms of pain and sadness.

One thing I have learned is that we have the power to reach out: to comfort and to help when someone faces a crisis, when one’s knees have buckled and are about to go down! We need to reach out and be there for each other, we have that choice, or we become bitter and alone ourselves. I see the developmentally disabled, the physically impaired, the socially challenged, and I cannot go behind my protective wall. I can’t hide from what I know needs help. Too many of us are all alone, from death or divorce or estrangement from our children. These are all good, worthy people that have fallen into the pit of circumstances, and need to shelter themselves from the self-righteousness of those who don’t understand or want to.

People say: “Whatever I can do, just let me know.” They say that at a time when they try to comfort, but walk away without retaining that meaning. All too often, I see someone with a child with a problem and they look devastated, I know, I’ve been there. What do you do? Do you let them stay that way, or do you try to rally them into believing in tomorrow and the sunrise?

I am thinking of taking on a new cause, one I never joined, but feel I could lend something to: The Compassionate Friends, a world-wide organization dedicated to parents who have lost a child. The idea of losing a child is very depressing: having lost one is very final. All your joy is removed, replaced with what ifs and a lot of whys, not to mention the self-incrimination or guilt one feels when a child does die. I will contact them and offer my skills as a designer and creative thinker, and lean on my own experiences to help these people, one of which is dear friend.