APPREHENSION

I wrote recently about a couple that I happen to admire. They just went through a rough patch, and are making it through. He is fighting esophagus cancer and hopefully has beaten it with an operation.

I knew I wanted to visit him once the ordeal of the operation was over, which happened to be occurring at a hospital across the street from a client. The client was Stony Brook University, and the hospital: Stony Brook University Hospital. I was a little apprehensive of the visit, since I didn’t know how he felt, or if he even wanted visitors. I sent his wife Joanne an email, but since I didn’t get a response, I thought I’d just go. I could imagine how crazy her days were, let alone have time to answer e-mails from cranky old men!

On a hot and humid Friday, I had a photo shoot with the client, using a medical photographer who is based at the hospital. We spent a lot of hours in the hot and stuffy rooms of the college, and shooting pictures under my direction. By the end of the day of in and out of the different buildings, I was exhausted, and realized I couldn’t move, let alone go to visit a recuperating friend.

The following week, I met in the photographer’s office and afterward, paid my visit to Dave, my recuperating high school classmate. I was nervous, and as I got to his room, I notice the curtain drawn around his bed! I knocked, no answer, I called out, no answer, I saw feet crossed at the foot of the bed and decided to stick my head in and call him.

He was watching a Yankee game. Good old Dave was on the mend! We greeted each other with some small talk, and being deaf, I had trouble hearing him because his voice is weak. I asked him to repeat what he had said, but still… I decided not to pursue it and let him go back to resting.

But in my feeble attempt to say goodbye, I said: “Dave, you look better all ready, and I only arrived 2 minutes ago!”

I could liken the feelings I had of going into that hospital room with what one feels when they visit a person who lost a loved one, especially at a funeral home. Apprehension: what do you say, and how do you say it. How do you offer help without sounding lame? More importantly, I want my offer to have meaning, bite, be real and sincere, and productive at the end. So I didn’t offer any help, just a promise to myself to get to know this wonderful couple once again, and see that they have help if they need it.

Sometimes prayers do work!