GETTING OLD IS HARD TO DO

TLW (The Little Woman), as part of her health regime’ as well as mine, goes every so many years for a colonoscopy. We all should, and most of us do. One of the things she has to do as you know is fast for more than 24 hours, only liquids such as black coffee, broth or water. To show her my support over the years, I’ve fasted along with her, because I know how hard it is to do it. At least if she doesn’t see me eating, she won’t mind as much, and if she doesn’t smell food, all the better. This time around, things are a little different.

TLW: “ Joe, I appreciate your support and not eating, but I really think you should.”
“Why?”
TLW: “ Because of your diabetes, your blood sugar levels will go dangerously low! So please eat.”
“OK. I promise I won’t eat in front of you. And no smelly foods!”

And so it goes, as we get old, we doctor a lot more, think about things we never worried about before, and of course, allow it to be a part of our conversations when we get together. Then there is a whole host of meds we must take, things like Altace, or metropolol or Vytorin or any of the “old-age” meds we are on.
Of course, old age does have its privileges. For one, I can pretty much say anything I dam well please in public! What I say or do for that matter can be attributed to being old. I can now drive at 20 mph in the fast lane with my left directional on, leave a shopping cart full of groceries in the middle of the aisle blocking the young whipper-snappers, and yes, can even let one ride in a crowded elevator. (Fart)

We now have standard equipment: hearing aides, bi-focals and teeth, all can now be carried without shame, and in our pockets! Getting up into a standing position is now considered “exercise”, as is climbing into bed! We shed hair and combs, dental floss and teeth, and “depends” now has a duel meaning to us.

But now I discovered there is even more! I no longer care what I look like in public! Yes, jeans are just fine, to weddings, funerals and formal occasions. Getting away with that is another story.