MINI VACATIONS

TLW (The Little Woman) and I are planning a mini vacation. We are thinking of going to Chicago, and just visiting a few sites, eat a good steak dinner under the el, and get some of that Chicago deep-dish pizza.

I haven’t been to Chicago in a while, and when I do go, it is always on business. This time I plan to just enjoy the city, sights, sounds and smells. Planning with TLW is an interesting experience. I remember our first planned trip, and that was our honeymoon to Europe. Planes, destination cities, hotels and special reservations were all planned in a small book we each had. The invasion of Normandy in 1944 was less complicated, and less successfully executed than what TLW planned!

Every morning we would meet on the LIRR on our way to work, and plan things such as weddings and honeymoons, and I have to say, if TLW is involved in the planning, it goes without a hitch. This time around we have a computer to measure our plans in a more efficient way.

TLW: “OK Joe, I’m going to look up a hotel. Where do you want to stay?”

“In the city itself.”

TLW: “Good, I don’t want to stay near the airport.”

“We don’t need a car, so let’s use the savings there for a upgrade from flea-bag to roachless hotel.”

TLW: “OK, here is a hotel, it has four and a half roaches, comes with a fly swatter and a pointy toed slipper for roaches in the corners!”

“Wow! You get a lot of amenities in a four and a half roach hotel! Book it!”

TLW: “Now, we still have to book our flight. Maybe we should book our flight first? Where do you want to fly out of?”

“LI Mac Arthur would be convenient.”

TLW: “Maybe you should call your sister and ask about her buddy pass?”

“I’m afraid to.”

TLW: “WHY?”

“She may make it complicated, maybe we have to do something to get the flight out, like fly on a wing, or use separate planes.”

TLW: “Don’t be silly, if she is nice enough to offer us it, then I think you should take her up on it.”

“OK”

I pick up the phone and call.

Sister MaryAnn, #3 Sister answers on the first ring.

#3 “HELLO?”

“Hi, it’s me!”

“Joe? Oh, high, what’s up?”

We are going to Chicago soon, and wanted to know about the buddy pass you get for being a flight attendant.”

#3 “Oh, no problem! You can stay at my house too!”

“No, I like to stay at my own place, don’t like to intrude on people, kinda like to walk around in my skivvies so to speak.”

#3 “No, No! I’ll probably be away anyway: you can stay at my place. Don’t be silly”

“No, I need the rest and peace and quiet if you are home those days. Between you and TLW, I’ll never get out of the house, and never will get a word in edge-wise! Which airline do I fly?”

#3 “VERY FUNNY, You fly Untried Airlines, the pilots need the practice landing. But if you want to NOT be bumped off a flight, especially in mid-air, I suggest you leave at 12:01 AM.”

“Do I fly out of LI Mac Arthur?”

#3 “No, you have to fly from LaGuardia. Then if you get bumped, there’s another flight an hour later, hour after hour. You can get bumped off, all day, on the hour! That’s a lot of flights to Chicago!”

“Gee, that IS convenient, wait only an hour to get bumped off the flight, rather than a long wait between flights!”

And so, our plans are set, less confusingly than I anticipated!