HANDS DOWN, IT IS PAINFUL

Every year right after the holidays, I pay the price for celebrating. Some people can eat and eat and never gain an ounce. To you, go to another blog, NOW!

I miss you Grandma!

I work hard to stay within this slim boy shape but it doesn’t want to cooperate. I figure I’m close enough to death now that I should relax, eat what I want and not worry, you have to go sometime. Why not with a great meal or snack, you never know when it is time. My Grandmother used to say: “Joe Joe, you too skinny, mangia!” I loved Grandma!

But I of course put those concepts aside as I feel guilty, and try to analyze what I ate and think it into a logic that says: “OK DelBloggolo, when was the last time you ate like that, and when will it happen again?” But it doesn’t work that way, no sireee! I suffer from what I call ‘memory calories’ those are the worst kind of calories to have! What they do is stay, they don’t dissipate like they are supposed to. You see most calories attach, and after a while get bored and go away, thus the dissipation. Not mine, they stay, raise a family and invite other people’s calories to stay too.

I have tried all kinds of ways to fight calories. For instance, a common chocolate chip cookie should contain 60 calories. If you break the cookie in half, you now have two small cookies, and only 30 calories each. This should have a lesser shock upon your system, thus the calories should not take hold, these are broken calories, these calories shouldn’t work! I try to eat snacks standing or even walking if possible, this strategy should allow for burning of calories, (you may try this if you like, no need to thank me) so the calorie intake is minimized.

"Don't do that!"

I have to go to my doctor next month, he will get mad at me for gaining a few pounds (He feels he needs all the patients he can get so they can wait in his office for him to come in, an hour later than planned and talk politics. Then he can build his vacation coffers.) Meanwhile I noticed lately that he’s been building a little padding himself!

Then comes the salt attack, the tradition breaking salt attack.

You must be wondering what that is.

Every year, in the hood, we all get together with permission from our probation officers and celebrate the New Year. We gather at our neighbor Carol’s home and bring something, either an appetizer or dessert, depending which side of the street you live on. We talk about the past year, show off our post office photos and eat Chinese food. Well, I love Asian cuisine, and there is a high salt content in it. It all goes to my hands that swell up and hurt. It takes a couple of days for it to go away. I could discuss it with my doctor, but he is the guy that said to me once when I said I couldn’t lift my arm over my head: “then don’t do that.”