The other day I happen to be going by the kitchen table and there was an index card lying there. Since I clean up a lot as a hen-pecked husband, I thought I’d check it out and toss it if need be.
As I read the card, the content suddenly caused me to sit down and wonder! The shocking accusations were true and finally someone was catching up to me after all these years! Yes, I was guilty, and I could understand getting it all down on paper. The charges against me were plain and clear. I though: “How interesting they do things these days! Put all your sins and misdemeanors on an index card for easy reference!
On the card were three statements;
1) I disobeyed my parents
2) I fought with my sisters
3) I lied to my mother
Well all the facts were there, and maybe there wasn’t enough room to list them all!
I started to imagine the file they would build on me with this method. All my transgressions were being categorized into simple statements and all I had to do was sign each index card and they could go on to others I victimized, all too numerous to even count, but it was a start. There was my older sister Tessie’s (much older) 40th birthday, the time I told a business acquaintance who was to meet TLW (The Little Woman) for the first time that she was deaf in her left ear and her right ear was very close to deafness, and would he be kind enough to shout into her right ear so she could be part of the conversations. Of course I would need to sign the one about my Dad falling asleep on a lawn chair one summer day and my putting the garden hose that was laying in the hot sun all day in his pocket and turning the spigot on to a trickle, (he literally thought he was wetting his pants!) and I won’t even think about sloppy John the vegetable guy on Stone Avenue in Brooklyn.
I asked TLW what the card was all about, and if it was a confession I needed to sign.
“No, I am teaching my little second graders about confession, so I made up those sins so they can practice.” Sure she had to imagine them, I have to recall them!
“Oh! Well then, if you need any more sins, something more original, just ask.”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HANDSOME NEPHEW MARC DZICEK, Awonderful father and husband!
1 comment:
Ha! I have those same little second graders in my CCD class and they can never think of a thing they've done wrong either! They practice giving their confession to us teachers and we tell them they "can make up something" if they can't think of anything. I do admit its fun pretending to absole them...
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