TAG LINES

She was sitting in her Wanna-Be-Bank & Truss Company shirt, the blue one with the logo she wears every Saturday that she works. She was quieter than usual, and it struck me that maybe she was ill. But no, she wasn’t ill, just not yet primed to discuss her day with me.

It was dinnertime and I had prepared a rib eye steak and Asian broccoli, her favorite veggie for dinner. She dropped the mail she was reading and got to the meal, and so I could write this pathetic line.

“So, nothing going on at the Wanna-Be-Bank & Truss Company?” said I.

Thinking she suddenly lit up, the juices were flowing I was in for it!

Well, the bank (Wanna-Be) has decided to make us add tag lines to our meeting with a member. Not only do we need to repeat the member’s name three times, we now also need to say: would you like to donate a coat, AND would you like E-statements?”

Being an intelligent man, ripe for conversation and articulate, I said:

“Oh?”

Realizing that she was in for an intelligent conversation, maybe more than she could handle TLW (The Little Woman) ventured forward anyway.

“Someone will come in, say they want to close their account because their account has been compromised, and I’m supposed to say: “Would like to donate a coat?”

“GET OUT OF HERE!”

“Really it is all so stupid!”

“Well with the warm weather we have been having for January, it is pretty lame!”

“That’s not all-the powers to be want us to push a checking account with every savings account we push! We are supposed to get 7.5 checking accounts for every 10 savings accounts!”

“I NEED ANOTHER DRINK!” (I was getting one anyway) “I can’t believe it! Do they punch you in the nose when you ask that? Besides, who owns a half of a checking account?”

“Oh, I could give them a checking account and they would never know it! I could get credit for it, but I try to be a moral person and do the right thing.”

“Well you did marry me, but still you keep on trying, Thats good! But here’s the thing, I’m a member too. You’ve been home almost an hour, and you haven’t addressed ME by my name once!”

“How do you pronounce it again?”

“Mr. Del Bloggolo.”

“Mr. Del Bloggolo?”

“Yes?”

“Mr. Del Bloggolo, go shit in your hat.”

“That’s only twice but I’ll leave it at that. By the way, isn’t that your usual tag line for me?”