OLD FRIENDS

There are friends, and there are ‘old friends’, not from age but from longevity. They don’t need to say much to impress you, and when they do say something, well it can knock your socks off with their humor.

Lois "I can Cope with anything"

When TLW (The Little Woman) joined the Wanna-Be-Bank and Truss Co. so many years ago, one of the people that stood out was a lady named Lois. Lois over the years got to know us and we got to know her. She can easily be mistaken for her look-alike: TLW, and often when I call TLW at the Wanna-Be-Bank, Lois will pick up her phone because TLW is either with a member, away from her desk, or out to lunch.

I am not good at distinguishing voices on the phone, and so when Lois answers, I mistakenly go into my spiel. It might go something like this if I'm not careful:

“Hi Toots, since it’s our anniversary, what would you like for dinner?”

Toots II: “Whichever fancy restaurant you’d like to take me to, of course.”

“Well, I…”

Toots II: “Of course, unless you think it’s not so important, and want to open up a can of beans?”

“Well I…”

Toots II: “Oh, how inconsiderate of me, the gift is too big to carry around! Well we could open the gift when we get home. You can give it to me with the carrot cake from my favorite bakery in Philadelphia: which I love so much. It’s on Broad Street – 185 Broad Street, called Millie’s Cakes. You want the directions?”

OK, I got 2 Toots here, which one is which?

“Well… I, that is, uh…”

Toots II: “Boy, will all your sisters be proud when I tell them how well you treat me! And your Mother, she’ll turn her wooden spoon into toothpicks!”

“OK, whatever you want.”

Toots II: “Good, this is Toots II, I’ll get her.”

For years Toots II has tried very hard to get over her being over the age of 39, and all her friends would love to help push her over. She never makes a whole lot of noise, quietly going about her business and not getting involved in office politics or drama of any kind. The lunch schedule is never an issue, and if she does complain, all the employees of the Wanna-Be-Bank and Truss Co., get the list and try to rub her out.

Very few employees complain about Lois, except when in the Ladies room, where she does her imitation of Josh Groban. Once again, the good folks like to help her out.

Lois has become the master of getting to places without use of major highways. Yes, she can get to NYC, without use of the LIE, the Southern or Northern State Parkways, and has often said: “Robert Moses, who needs Robert Moses?” Her feeling is that if you have to merge into traffic, you might as well stay home.

There are many similarities that Toots I and Toots II share, besides looking alike, they went to the same schools, lived in the same area, and are both Irish, so with that in mind, there may be more of them out there!

Today, once again she will try very hard to get over the age of 39, but be kind, don’t say things like: Boy, you look good for your age, or, was that you driving on Main Street with your left blinker on doing 10 mph? No, it is her birthday today, so give her space, and ladies, if you work in the Wanna-Be-Bank and Truss Co., use the Men’s room today.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOTS II- we all love you!