Friday, September 07, 2012

UNCLE SAM WANTS ME… AGAIN!


My vote does count. It counts in the jury pool, but it seems that’s all, it certainly never makes a difference otherwise. Every 6 years the yokels out in Riverhead decide to send me a summons for Jury Duty. Now I don’t mind serving as long as it doesn’t interfere with my long term plans. It almost did, but I’m OK.

Do I want to serve? Sure, I get to serve and do my civic duty, and being retired it is something to do and write about on this blogue. However I would like to be the Jury Foreman. I can then bring the real messages that need to be said.

Judge: “Ladies and Gentleman of the Jury, have you reached a verdict?”

Me: “We Have your Honesty, we the Jury in the case of: Rowe vs. Paddle find the defendant guilty as charged. We also find that had he listened to his mother, none of this would have been necessary.”

Then I would wink at the court reporter and sit down as the defendant’s family wails and faints and the TV people offer me a part in Murphy’s Law, or even CSI.

Of course I will need to scout out the place and find a deli where I can get lunch, which will probably be the most important thing I do all day as I wait to be picked.

There are some things I can say that may dissuade them from picking me, like winking at the defendant, asking if the case involves Italians, or is the defendant a Liberal or Conservative. Just sayin’!


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