On Labor Day, TLW (The Little Woman) decided we needed to look for a new carpet for our den. It seems the carpet we now have is15 years old, in excellent shape but badly stained thanks to my dog Happy.
“Joe, (That usually starts things off) we need to take a ride to Home Depot to look at carpets for the den.”
“Yes Dear.”
We arrive at Home Depot, and no one is home, no one is bar-b-quing, instead they are all in the Home Depot parking lot, looking for a parking space, or moving one of those large noisy long red carts around.
By accident, we find a space among the many jealous drivers: our heads held high in triumph, we march to the entrance. Immediately it hits me: I hate this place, the loud speakers, the noise, the crowds, the couples arguing about what is needed and what needs to be done with it. The house wives exposing cellulite, where none should grow! TLW immediately goes on suicide watch for me.
We head for the carpet section.
No one is there! That is no one can help us, the two “Sales people” are hunkered down with customers, and so we decide to look. One thing about Home Depot, they have millions upon millions of carpets on display, the problem is none of it can help us.
The lines of engagement are drawn: we need a carpet that doesn’t show the dirt, is resistant to chlorine from the pool, darker than the last one, one that the color matches the stuff we already have in the room, and I don’t have to re-paint, (Fat chance).
Off we go our separate ways, turning piles over, pages of samples and little sample pieces.
Me: Here’s a nice color!
NO!
Well here’s
NO!
He…
NO!
Encouraged that things are going smoothly I decide maybe she would like to try.
TLW: What do you think?
I stopped a few sentences ago, but I don’t like it.
This?
Well…
We compromise and look for a sales person.
One is free to speak with us.
She sat behind her desk, eyes focused on her last sale, voice higher than an old truck needing a brake job!
Me: “We’re looking for a carpet, can you help us?”
“What do you need?”
“A carpet that is resistant to chlorine for our den.”
“But where do you need it?”
“For our den.”
“What kind?”
“One that is resistant to chlorine.”
“NEVER HEARD OF THAT!”
“We have one now!”
“Hey George? Did you ever hear of a carpet being resistant to chlorine?”
(George is an older man) “SURE!”
Along comes Mary.
“Hey Mary, do we have carpet that is resistant to chlorine?”
“I don’t know! Maybe in the commercial section?”
We all march over to the commercial section and she shows us a sample that looks like garbage.
“This is what we have.”
I look at it and decide I’d rather put newspapers down than the junk they are showing me.
So now I have another reason to love Home Depot.
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