WHAT’S IN YOUR WALLET?

You’ve seen the commercial and the answer seems to be: “Not much these days!”

It seems that everyone is angry at the economy, congress, and the President, taxes seem to go up, cost of food and housing is going up, the cost of gasoline will rise again, and we wonder: “Will anything ever go done?”

Well let me assure you some things will go down, like your savings, your level of happiness, your income and your sanity. I guess this creates a balance, one where you can walk a tightrope and fall into the precipice of despair. Despair I think is rising.

I don’t carry pictures in my wallet anymore. It seems the kids all grew up, I have no grandchildren that anyone admits to, and I know what TLW (The Little Woman) looks like. I see her everyday so I don’t need to see her picture. I bet she doesn’t have one of me in her wallet either. I doubt my kids carry pictures of me or TLW or each other.

No, my wallet is filled with little papers, usually white and fading info is on all of them. Restaurant and store receipts, from so long ago, I transferred them from an old wallet back in 1996! There are some clearly written phone numbers on slips of paper, but I NEVER put a name to it. I think I will buy a phone that has an unlisted number so I can call these numbers, disguise my voice and find out who the hell these people are! I suspect I really don’t know any of them, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I am wondering what I did with this one and that one’s phone number.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the more it runs, the shorter it gets. It seems for someone retired I have a lot to do and no time to do it.

Then there are the incessant emails, the ones that state that I can now have a new career if I enroll in their college, and on line. There are the emails that tell me to pass them on or I will die in 3 seconds, some tell me to send them to everyone in my email list including them. (Why don’t they just send them to themselves and eliminate the middleman?)

Of course the diabetic salespeople keep calling from unlisted numbers, trying to trick me into talking to them. “Hallo, is Giossuph there?” Me: “Just a moment I’ll get him!” I place the receiver down and hang it up after I hear the dial tone or whatever that awful noise is the phone makes after they hang up. TLW admonishes me because she says they are only making a living. Well, them they have great jobs, just sitting there and getting paid for waiting for me to come to the phone. No heavy lifting, and they work indoors too! I used to tell them to stop the calls but they say they can’t.

While I’m at it, I hope Christmas, which they started to advertise in the middle of August is over soon, the paper recyclers are sending me nasty notes about all the catalogs. (In email form of course, and asking that I forward it to all my contacts in my email lists.)

I have decided to schedule four private celebrations just for me. The Mets winning the World Series, The Jets winning the Super Bowl, the Knicks winning the NBA Championship, and the Islanders winning the Stanley Cup! I know they haven’t, but I figure I would celebrate while I am still alive!