THE KEY TO MR. WALKER

It’s rather large. People often stop and stare at it, wondering: “How can he carry anything that BIG, around?”

It is the envy of his male friends, both of them.

Many times he will have to flip it aside, since it gets in his way, and when he sits it will bang against the chair!

He wears them and they remind him to never be caught short.

I once asked him: “Mr. Walker, sir, that is big, how did you get one THAT BIG!!?

He answered: “Sonny, by hard work and dedication, playing tennis and ringing my bells in the Methodist church choir, that’s how.” I think that pretty inspiring for a nice Jewish boy!

Of course we are talking about his car keys. Yes, and he wears them around his neck so he doesn’t ever forget them.

He forgot them only once. After I picked him up at the Park N Ride at exit 49 on the LIE for a trip to Albany. After the 3 and a half hour drive back to exit 49, he discovered he left the keys in Albany, and had to call his wife!

“Hello, Dear? It’s me, I left my keys in Albany again, and now I need to get home! You can’t come and get me!? Why?... You’re in Church, praying for my soul! Again? Then what! You’re going out for pizza! Could you leave the back door open for me?”

Oh, he took his suitcase apart on the LIE, desperately searching through his luggage. Tossing his Batman undies to one side of the road, his Liberace CD’s to another side, and his bottle of Milk of Magnesia across the parking lot, just so he could get a better look, there were NO keys! He feared he would have to walk from Huntington to Amityville to get home, and started to take off his shoes, so he wouldn’t wear out the cardboard soles!

“Mr. Walker, Sir, what are you doing?”

“Well son, heading home, If I get across the LIE in one piece.”

“Would you like a ride home from here?”

“Well son that would be fine!”

And so he climbed aboard once again, and as we drove toward Amityville, he could relate to another horror:

“Well son, I have the feeling I haven’t heard the end of it from DelBloggolo!”

“Yes Mr. Walker Sir, but I won’t embellish it.”