TAKE MY ELECTRICITY BUT…

Don’t take my cable!

After Hurricane Irene hit, I sat in the dark, as the lights went at precisely 6:20 am on that Sunday morning. When the lights go out, everything gets quiet, silence descends like a blanket, and suddenly the urge to read comes on.

TLW (The Little Woman): “Check the phone.”

“No dial tone.”

TLW: “Our cable is gone!”

“WHAT!!!!!!!??????” I pray to myself that God will save me.

But wait, my laptop should work on the stored power! I open that little white sucker and hit Firefox for the Internet. No Internet! No Internet? Is there no decency in this world, what are we coming to? How do I get to Facebook, my emails, MY BLOGUE! Oh my God! MY blogue! PEOPLE WILL THINK I’M DEAD. I can’t allow false hope like that. Then it dawns on me, I wrote way in advance, I’m good for about a month, then: I’m dead. Phew!

There is still some coffee in the pot, which is still hot. We each pour a cup and eat something. Luckily, the stove is gas powered and we still have water, so we can shower and cook. I start looking forward to huge banquets because we will have to eat everything in the freezer before it goes bad.

Me: “Toots, I think we should cook everything in the freezer.”

“Don’t worry about it, there is really nothing in the freezer, since it is only you and me now, I don’t buy bulk.”

My life is devastated, no TV, phone or cable, and no banquets! It is too dark to see right now so I can’t read the newspaper that came before the lights went out. What is left? Talk! Talk is all we got. Talk will eventually lead to work, things she would like to do, painting, fixing, yard work, horrible conversations if ever there were any. I need to be scarce, avoid eye contact at all cost. Maybe I can catch the flu, or break a leg, maybe I can get the doctor to prescribe complete bed rest. Darn, no phone.

Slowly fear, shaking, and tumultuous stomach takes over, I am a shivering, curled up whining husband, afraid of the dark, afraid of those words: “Joe, we need to…”

You can fill in the horrible rest. Go ahead, knock yourself out.