THE TOOTH NAZI

You have heard of the Tooth Fairy, but let me tell you, you haven’t met anyone yet, until you meet the Tooth Nazi.

It all started when my favorite dentist in the whole world, Dr. Hoffman, retired, and I needed a new dentist. TLW (The Little Woman) tells me I have to go to the Sachem Dental Group to get a new dentist.

I go for my appointment, and being use to intermit surroundings for a one-doctor dentist, the Sachem Dental Group has a large waiting room, with a complicated reception desk, with lots of different kinds of dentists and whatnots, along with this huge staff.

I am called, and enter this cold examining room. A young woman takes some answers from me and off she goes, with my favorite phrase; “The Doctor will be with you shortly.”

In comes this 4-foot woman, overweight and looking like she just came from a catfight. “WHY ARE YOU HERE?”

“Uh, uh, err, for my teeth?”

“There are NO cavities on the x-rays, WHY DID YOU COME HERE?”

She does some exploring in my mouth then starts to reprimand an assistant about some procedural problem she has, while the poor young lady stammers embarrassed, tries to explain, and is told to leave the room!

After looking, she decides I need $5,000 worth of dental care, and I should schedule an appointment with an orthodontist in the office.

I decide that I’m in love with this woman. Yes, in love. Because without her, I could never have experienced the fear of the poor people living in the concentration camps back in WW II!

I’m currently looking for a dentist, someone who likes to talk baseball, football, or babes.