I’M A SACRILIGIOUS TIME BOMB!

As I sit in my chair, the TV on, TLW (The Little Woman) has the elevation to Cardinal of Timothy Dolan being televised into my den.

Now I’m not what you call very religious or holy, I just try to do whatever good works I can in practice and the chips fall where they may. All too often, my sense of what is about me, what is going on, gets me into a self shame for thinking that way.

Furinstance. I was sitting in a large room one night where I was asked to photograph some children. The coordinator was discussing a particular gospel about Jesus and a leper. According to the Gospel, Jesus heals a leper who thanks him for healing him. The coordinator then asks the little second graders what did Jesus say?

“What did Jesus say to the leper when the man thanked Jesus?” was the question.

Unfortunately because of what I thought was I was heading straight to hell for. What did I think Jesus said?

“That will be a $30 co-pay!"

I figure if I stay indoors the rest of my life, away from the windows, lightening can’t strike me.

There have been other run-ins with the church, especially one particular Sunday many years ago when I lived in Brooklyn. Mom took me to church every Sunday whether I needed it or not. One particular Sunday I decided that if I could keep the two nickels my father gave me every Sunday morning before he turned over and went back to sleep, I could get a box of white powdered donuts, they were the miniature kind. I went into my mother’s sewing kit and extracted two silver or metal looking buttons and took them to church, when both collections were taken up, each got a silver button, and I still had ten cents. What happened after that is another blog.

Then there was the time I got hell from a nun for taking pictures during a ceremony for something like a communion or confirmation or maybe a baptism.

Then there was a conversation with the Sister’s of Halifax, at TLW’s high school get-together. That conversation ended tragically and is another topic for a blog.

I think I get my inclination from dear old Dad, may he rest in peace. Once, when he was a young man, on a Sunday afternoon went to a candy store to buy the Sunday papers. As he reached for the paper who does he see but a friend of the family and the pastor of the church. The conversation went something like this:

“Good Morning Father!”

“Good morning, Anthony! How is your mother?”

“She’s fine Father.”

“Good, I didn’t see you at Mass this morning!”

“I went to 5:00 Mass this morning, Father.”

“And your father, is he good too?”

“Yes father.”

“And your brother and sisters, all well?”

“Yes Father.”

“Good! Splendid. Well I have to run now, I have a baptism this afternoon, and by the way Anthony, there is no 5:00 Mass on a Sunday morning.”