POPPA GOES WHERE HE’S TOLD

Papa loves mambo
Mama loves mambo
Look at 'em sway with it
Gettin' so gay with it
Shoutin' "olay" with it, wow (huh)

The other night TLW (The Little Woman) and I had a discussion about how best to get to my eye doctor’s office. TLW has traversed this great land of ours mostly on the Island of Long, and she knows her way around.

Of course, being inept because I am a husband, she likes to correct me and often does, whether I need it or not. But there are places I have been to and know how to get to, even if I pass them instead of turning when I should.

Papa loves mambo
(Papa loves mambo)
Mama loves mambo
(Mama loves mambo)
Papa does great with it

Swings like a gate with it
He loses weight with it, now

“So I take Portion Road almost all the way to the end, turning right at John Jones where I get onto 25A and make a left.”

TLW: “No! You then have to come back, you make a right.”

“No, I make a left into the parking lot”

TLW: “If you make a left you are heading west and you want to go east.”

“No, I’m already heading east when I turn right from John Jones!”

He goes to, she goes fro
He goes fast, she goes slow
He goes left 'n' she goes right

(Papa's lookin' for Mama)
(But mama is nowhere in sight) (huh)

I draw a map and I’m accused of confusing her. This stems from the wifely need to correct her dumb husband regardless of what he knows.

When it comes to agreeing how to go, she is usually correct and I am usually in the dark. All too often I have had to get out of the car and ask for directions, and this annoys her because I am in my driveway looking for my street. That is why she is so weary of my directions.

Papa loves mambo
Mama loves mambo
Havin' their fling again
Younger than spring again
Feelin' that zing again, wow (huh)

Then there is the issue of parking the car. She or I will park the car and get out to head to wherever we are going. If it is a store in the mall, or a restaurant, she heads one way and I head another. I look for her, but she is nowhere to be seen, then I catch her a few feet ahead of me. She goes from the front side of the car directly to while I go around the backside to go to the same place. (You have to be there to appreciate it.)

As we meet on the way to the store or establishment, her need to question my directional sense understandably comes into play.

Then there is my sense of where the hell I am in the world.

Papa loves mambo
(Papa loves mambo)
Mama loves mambo
(Mama loves mambo)
Don't let her rumba and don't let her samba
'Cause Papa loves Mama tonight (huh)

“I’m going to go to the hardware store. (I’m pointing south: the store is west.)

TLW: “Which store is that?”

Exasperated-“The one I always go to!”

TLW: “Oh! That’s that way.” pointing in the right direction.

“What!? They moved it?”

(Papa loves mambo)
(Mama loves mambo)

(Papa loves mambo)
(Mama loves mambo)

He goes to, she goes fro
He goes fast, she goes slow
He goes left 'n' she goes right
(Papa's lookin' for Mama)
(But Mama is nowhere in sight) (huh)

Then there is the question of directions. Someone will ask me for directions over the phone, I have TLW listening in and correcting me as I go. Being she is so vigilant when it comes to telling me where to go, she does that with relish.

Papa loves mambo
(Papa loves mambo)
Mama loves mambo
(Mama loves mambo)
Havin' their fling again
Younger than Spring again
Feelin' that zing again, wow (huh)

I know my way around, and usually don’t get lost, but it occurred to me that every Tuesday I go to sign checks for the agency. I make a few turns along the way, but don’t know the names of the streets! I’ve been driving there for well over 20 years, never noticed the sign posts marking the streets!

(Papa loves mambo)
Mambo Papa
(Mama loves mambo)
Mambo Mama
(Don't let her rumba and don't let her samba)
'Cause Papa
Loves a mambo tonight

(Huh)