I was sitting in the airport recently, recuperating from
having to go through security and got to thinking that this is what a police
state must be like. The restrictions and rules have totally taken over, making
it an ordeal to fly anywhere, and not only Home Land Security, but the airlines
and even the police have taken over!
As you drive to the airport you are immediately hit with
rules as far as parking at the curb, for just so long and in a designated area.
A policeman patrols to ensure the policy is enforced. You enter and find a
check in where you must show ID. This is an issue for me since I now sport a
full beard, and so does the license, but if I ever shave they may think it is
not me, and I’ll have to drive or take a train!
Off comes the belt, jewelry and any metal, shoes and all are
deposited into a tray that gets scrutinized. You have to stand in a scanner and
get checked out. The fear here is: they all start laughing and call their
buddies over to see.
If they find liquid over a certain size, or gel’s in your
possession, they toss it and confiscate nail clippers and penknives. I can just
see myself taking over a flight in mid air, I’ll grab the flight attendant from
behind, holding her hand and ordering her to open the cockpit door, or I will
ruin her manicure!
The airline I hate the most, Southwest Airlines, puts the
icing on the unsweetened cake with the boarding pass situation. You must get on
a line according to the time you got your tickets, and frankly, the other
airlines board much more smoothly. If you are in the ‘C’ group, you are ensured
a middle seat in a 3 seat row, if the flight is over 1 hour, the two row mates
are over 300 lbs., and a screaming rug rat will sit behind you and while
screaming have the parent pulling on your seat as you try to sleep!
When you fly that dopey airline, you have to remember 24
hours in advance that you need to print your boarding pass. I was in the middle
of a funeral when I needed to print a boarding pass! I got seat C-2! That comes
with the caveat that I can’t interfere with the rudder as it turns left or
right, and not to leave trash on the wing.
Boy, I just love to fly!
1 comment:
Younger people will probably never get to appreciate what a joy flying used to be. Free booze, attractive, flight attendants, decent food, very little airport security, and relatively few delayed/overbooked flights. And Wilbur and Orville were great pilots too.
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