RELATIONSHIPS

All my life there were two constants, my aunt and my mom were two sisters who were very close, and that they shared a special bond.

When my aunt died recently, I witnessed how strong the bond was, but also how much of an effect it had on my family and me and as a whole. That bond set a tone for us children to understand what blood is, what life and love are all about.

Through the years I watched how they spent so much time together when they lived near each other, the shopping trips and the recipes, not to mention the sharing of laughs and tears. Whenever there was a change in life events as they moved to other towns, the phone was utilized and they shared those events.

It was easy to make them laugh, I could tell the same jokes and they both laughed like I told it for the first time. They had memories like they were an extension of a library. They were the youngest and oldest of three sisters, the middle one died over 30 years ago.

They grew up in Brooklyn, around the end of World War I, and their father was gone before my mother was five or six, and so Grandma Mary had to raise them by herself. She taught them well, since they were always caring for their families.

When we sat in the funeral parlor, my mom was somewhat stoic: and staring straight ahead at the coffin said: “I don’t have a sister anymore!” Although it was a private moment, I share it because I wanted you to know what in life IS important.

There are many dysfunctional families out there, and I think most families have some dysfunction, we DO have a sister or brother or parent or friend, we do have relationships, we need to cherish. In Mom’s sorrow, she taught my sisters and I a fact, we have each other and need to be close to one another, embrace our minds as well as our bodies, because we don’t know what tomorrow brings.

Mom is 94 tomorrow, my aunt would have been 91 in October, and this is not the scenario I imagined life would turn out as. I thought that when mom went, my aunt would still be alive, and how would we handle her living in Florida and saying goodbye to mom. Would she fly to New York and say goodbye, or would she feel the emptiness of no closure. Instead Mom got on a plane with a great deal of struggling physically, nothing was going to stop her from saying goodbye to her sister, nothing would get in he way of expressing once more her love for that sister.

I used to lament the fact that I never had a brother. I have come to realize that I have a great gift, something I cherish and four people I love very much, my sisters. We as a family don’t fight with each other, we get along very well, we are enjoying our children and grandchildren, and we give aid and comfort to each other, and we all center around Mom, who doesn’t have a sister anymore.

I call Mom every now and then to check up on her, my last conversation Sunday she sounded upbeat, ready for tomorrow, happy. The tone in her voice sounded like she did on the first day of school, only this time I enjoyed hearing it!

So, go out there, call your parent, or sister or brother, maybe a cousin and don’t forget those friends, they are important too. We don’t know what tomorrow brings, we don’t know what will face us each, but if we have the love behind us that mom has and taught us to have, then we can face everything a little better and with resolve for a new day.