“And your penance my son is: 14 photo albums with newly designed outer and inside covers for TLW (The Little Woman), 14 Hail Mary’s and 14 Our Fathers, take two aspirins and call me in the morning.”
Every year at this time, TLW gives me the assignment to create photo albums for her religious instruction class of 2nd graders. I do a cover for the front and back, and inside covers front and back.
This year I was nearly finished when TLW visited me in my studio to check on my progress. She picked up one of the albums and complained that I didn’t do a back cover. I really didn’t want to, but with the face of a well-paying client, she would not accept that!
Doggedly I set about rectifying the situation and begged for forgiveness. I had to, she was cooking dinner tonight and I wasn’t sure what she might put in it. Being how she is a perfectionist when I do something, I feel it is easier to just make it the way she likes it and get it over with. This is something one learns in Human Husband 101. There are other lessons one learns such as: “Did you lose weight?” I use this for when a fight is about to break out and I want to eat in peace. “My, you look younger than that kid across the street!” This is used in extreme desperation when there is something you want from her.
Marriage is a 50/50 proposition, 50% of the time she’s right, and the other 50% you are wrong. This is the 50% Equation, learned in the early stages of matrimonial bliss, to avoid matrimonial blisters.
What am I saying? Well, when she reads this, I guess; “Goodbye”.
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