LOCK OUT

No not the union of some unionized company, but #2 Son and his aversion for peace and serenity. As a retired man I now can dream about what I’ll have for lunch, and while I was doing so the phone rang. All my dreaming was shattered by the

Phone: “RIIIINNNGGG.”
Me: “Eh Low”
#2 Son on phone: Eh, Dad?”
Me: “No Michael, you have the wrong number.”
Him: “ I need help”
Me: “What?”
Him: “I locked my keys in my car, what should I do?”
Me: Call a locksmith?”
Him: “OK, call one for me.”
Me: “Where are you?”
Him: “DON’T COME DOWN “JUST CALL A LOCKSMITH!”
Me: “I HAVE TO KNOW WHERE TO SEND HIM, NO?”
Him: “Oh, OK”

I think that before they give out driver’s licenses, they should send out the potential traffic jammer and let him/her pass a litmus test first. Leave them in the middle of nowhere, throw their keys in the car, lock it, and flatten at least one tire. All they should have is a cell phone, and a phone book of useful numbers. If they return with the car and the tire is fixed, they get a road test. The inspector can then notify the parent that the test was or was not successful. There should be classes that teach how to change a tire, change the oil, put antifreeze in the car, and call a locksmith or AAA, and if any phone conversation begins with: “Eh, Dad?” automatic failure.