Today I was talking to TLW (The Little Woman) and complaining that I ran out of cereal, and that I was making an egg sandwich the last few mornings instead.
I mentioned that I was using her eggbeaters substitute for real eggs and that I found her low fat cheddar cheese that I was putting in the omelet. I reminded her that it was the cheese she bought for a Weight Watchers recipe so I was sure it was ok. Mentioning that the eggs tasted very good, that the Smart Balance was a great butter substitute for my low fat bread, TLW looked at me kind of askance.
IT IS THE LOOK THAT I DREAD THE MOST.
She mentioned to me that the cheese was NOT low fat, but your regular everyday cheese! It was a crippling blow, a shot to the head, and a punch in the solar plexus. I had done badly.
My whole outlook on breakfast meant that now I have to go out and BUY myself some cereal! Yes, spend the money, shocking! What really makes me nuts is she looks and sounds so authoritative when she informs me of these kinds of things.
She could let me down gently, maybe say something like; Wow, you sure saved a lot of calories and points! Just kill the cheese.”
Bless me TLW for I have sinned, I ate the cheese.
I decided to go to a Spanish-speaking priest to confess. He said that if I ate the cheese, and sinned, I ate it without the cheese. The word “sin” in Spanish means “without”, so technically, I can claim no cheese or no sin, or something, because I’m confused too.
Hey, its been a slow day.
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