DOES THAT THING HAVE TO BE SO LOUD?

I was watching TV this morning, and a commercial came on. A woman was holding a phone at yelling into the next room. “DOES THAT THING HAVE TO BE SO LOUD?”
It brought back a flood of memories.

Of course the yelling part for sure reminded me of Mom, but the phrase: “DOES THAT THING HAVE TO BE SO LOUD?” even more so.

Mom went to the Mother’s School of Phrase, a non-denominational women only school to help herself in raising her children with clear and undeniable communication.

In her, “DOES THAT THING HAVE TO BE SO LOUD?” ‘That thing’ meant the TV.

She uttered other lines in consistant fashion. Lines that I started to use with my kids.

“What am I related to the lighting company?” This meant, shut some of the lights off.
“What am I made of money?” Simple yet direct, meaning: “Get the hell out of here, I’m broke.”
“You’re using a whole pound of butter?” If you could see the butter on your toast, you are using too much.
One of my favorites: “Wait ‘til your father gets home.” Discipline was now beyond her ability.
“If I get my hands on you!” meaning, don’t come near me for half an hour.
“Go to school, you’ll be fine.” It didn’t matter if I WAS bleeding profusely from the mouth, ears and chest.

But the scariest of them all, was when she wished evil upon me: “WAIT, until YOU have kids!”

Please remember my pals, Joan and DD.