I HAD NO IDEA!

I often hear about people that go through the MRI process, but never thought about what it is like. Well, I found out today.

I went into the office, and got the customary forms to fill out, and dutifully filled them. Then the lovely young lady came and collected me (all my parts) and took me into the back area.

“Go in here, take off all your clothes, and except your underwear, wear this gown and put everything in that locker over there, and then take the key and wait over there.”

“Can I leave on my socks?”

“Sure.”

I do everything she says, but when it comes to the gown I run into my first problem. Does the tie go in the front or like a hospital gown in the back? I opt for the back and head out to the waiting area. Everyone wearing a gown has the tie in the front! Of course.

This very nice gentleman comes over and shakes my hand and leads me to the promise land, where we set up for the MRI. The machine looms next to me as I sit on the bed. A plastic device is put on my shoulder and I lay a certain way. The gentleman is helping me relax and it is like when you can’t fall asleep, you take your pillow, tuck it under your knees or legs, or under your arm and finally he is ready.

Suddenly as I am laying there, he gives me this blue ball and says; “If you need me, just squeeze the ball, and I will come!” “Great!” I’m thinking, room service. Then I know why he said that! As I roll into the MREI tube, a sick and desperate feeling of claustrophobia hits me! The walls of the MRI scanner are round, and run practically to your nose. It is a bad feeling. I lay still and fight the urge to panic. I think; “If so and so did it, so will I. I will tough this out, no matter what, no wussyness for me.”

I get a set of earphones so the technician can communicate with me. “Are you OK, Joseph?” ask the gentleman. “Yes is all I can say.” I want to say; “GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE, NOW, AND QUICKLY1” But I reserve that for when I think I will really need it. I think nostalgic thoughts, of days gone by and funny instances that have happened. They all turn to horror stories that I imagine the technician telling TLW (The Little Woman) happened. Although they are funny, (how I died in the tube) I can’t seem to chuckle.

For the next 20 minutes or so, I hear these strange noises, motor like and electronic sounds. It is a noisy place to suffocate in. The sounds repeat themselves, and I wonder if the technician went out to coffee.

Finally, it abruptly ends, and I see daylight once again! My life was spared!

“Sit up, are you OK? Can you walk to the waiting room?”

“Piece of cake” I lied.

Please remember my pals Joan and Anita with a little prayer.