IT’S OFFICIAL!

A new mall was opened in mid October in Deer Park, Long Island. Just what we needed, another mall! But it didn’t officially open until TLW (The Little Woman) gave it a once over. As her official mall caddy, I accompanied her to the new shopping venue, and dutifully did what I was supposed to do, be quiet until lunchtime.

Coming off of Thursday November 13th’s blog; we entered a store that sold all kinds of kitchen gadgets and food items. There must have be at least 10 separate dips for me to “test” for your sake. Just to let you know, this research is ongoing.

Let me tell you, it was hard work, and I made sure to check each and every one of them out. Fortunately for you: I was very thorough in my findings.

After my research was complete, TLW started to have what I call an emotional event. She started to quietly sob and sniffle, wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye. SHE HAD SPOTTED THE DREADED ‘CHRISTMAS STORE’!

For some of you who may not know, the Christmas Store is a front for emptying out one’s wallet, with a Christmas motif. It sells everything there is, cheaply. Not much of it has to do with Christmas. It gets its name from the fact that when you exit the place under a heavy burden of plastic bags filled with stuff, instead of a ring or bell as you leave, it goes, “Ho-ho-ho.” That goodbye is really saying: “Goodbye to Christmas, you are too broke to spend money on anything, including Christmas. TLW, before exiting, ran into one of her work mates.

We did not only spend, we fantasized too. We went to Neiman Marcus, and as I looked at the prices, I thought that it would be neat if a TV camera caught me in the store, it would tell the world: “Wow, look where they shop.” It didn’t happen, but we did run into an old friend from our old neighborhood. Maybe she will spread the rumor.

Then we tried to find a place to have lunch, but no dice, not even chop, there was one lousy restaurant opened in the whole place!

The mall itself looked like a Disneyland with an Italianate twist. Arched buildings in colorful fronts, with Italian names for all the streets of this outdoor wonderland. There is a piazza at the main entrance with a fountain, and no cars. Plenty of parking and few opened restaurants, but a lot of shops for women. Husbands, when she announces she wants to go there, pull out a map, pencil it out for her, then run like a politician, lying about where you want to go, but get out quick!

Please remember my pals, Joan and DD and all those that need our prayers.