A LADY NAMED JENNY

There is a lady I know. She is small of stature and but big of self-respect. I’ve known her a great many years now, at least 12, and she is a part of the family.

I met her through my volunteerism: a resident of the Dix Hills Independent Residential Alternative, Yes, she is developmentally challenged. She is now in her middle eighties, and is fading fast. Once she was an independent willful woman, now she is dependant on others to live her life. If you look in her eyes, they will tell you how much she detests being dependant on others.

When I first met Jenny, she could walk somewhat, and used a walker. TLW (The Little Woman) took her under her wing as a ‘Special Friend’ in a program TLW heads; we got to know each other. TLW would take her out for Carvel Ice Cream or a Shrimp dinner. Jenny calls it “schrimpies”. Jenny has a sarcastic, acerbic and sometimes mean tongue. She doesn’t like people doing for her; she wants to be entertained and amused. She loves going places, and out of her residence. She takes great pride in doing for herself! She knits or crochets covers for wooden hangers, and sells them to whomever she meets. She is the embodiment of the human spirit. Just don’t get in her way!

Lately jenny is starting to fade. Once she almost convinced me that she owned a driver’s license, when in actuality it was only an ID made by the DMV! When we visit, she will not tolerate others taking up our time. She would chase the interloper away with the wag of her tongue. She had a brother ‘Joey’ who would call her from California, send her cards and presents.

Then one day, Joey passed on. When Joey died, a little bit of Jenny died too. She contacted cancer, and now suffers from dementia. To add to her misery, she can no longer get around without a wheel chair.

Today TLW and me decided to visit he in her home. She seemed confused, as we gave her a bag of Carvel Ice Cream, but when she saw me, she smiled and said: “Joe!” She remembered me! Me! She once told me I was too fat, that I “Need to walk around the block, ALL around the block”. I laughed so hard I forget to get insulted. Once she refused a piece of cake stating: “I need to keep my girlish figure.”

She hates macaroni, because her home serves it often. So, I promised her for Christmas, I would buy her a box of macaroni. If she knew swear words, she probably would have used them on me that day!

Today, she seemed to drift away; She looked at us, without knowing, without caring. She remembers a lot, yet a lot she is forgetting. How sad! A woman, who was dealt a lousy rotten blow, now has it even harder. I wonder what she ever did to deserve her fate in her final days?

Please remember my pals Joan and DD. Thanks