CO-EXISTENCE AND THE CORVID MAN

I am writing this because I am still alive! It has now been months since I was assigned to my home and quarantined by Mr. Cuomo, the governor of my state, the great state of New York.

Having a cellmate who helps me share my cell, a she who happens to be my wife, soon to be ex if she figures out what she is stuck with, helps. I keep my mouth shut and don’t rock the boat; I avoid eye contact to prevent unwanted chores that will only interrupt my tight schedule of naps and meals, filled in with crossword puzzles and Sudoku.

Our conversations have however improved, we now discuss what time the pharmacy opens in the morning, what we will eat for diner, and do “You feel like lunch?” We have mastered the Amazon Prime routine, Apple TV, and the DVR on our cable TV, watching such great stuff as Billions, The last Millionaire, World on Fire, and Last Tango in Halifax. All are worth the time and investment of interest.

The most important thing to remember in this time of abnormality is that you must maintain a normal pattern of daily routine nothing should be out of whack. This means I must make the bed with the same fastidiousness of folding back the bedspread, turning the sheet over the bedspread and neatly creating a fold, then put on all the pillows. This is then followed by breakfast, taking my pills with orange juice while I put a pod into the Keurig coffee maker, with a little half-and-half into the bottom of my mug before pushing the brew button, while centering on dinner and what to make or take from the freezer. This speaks to coordination timely reflexes and the fact that I am still alive after all these years and can remember things. One is to get up each morning.

In the course of the day I must patrol the house, look for things that need to be put away, such as the butter, dirty butter knives and opened packages that are empty while maintaining vigilance over empty beer and carbonated soda bottles, running the recycling to the curb alternated by household garbage, and telling the difference, after all, I don’t want to be led out of my house by the Refuse Police in handcuffs and a face mask.

Since no one is visiting these days both my wife and I have nested. That is to say, we have taken our little bit of self-territory and in our recliner surrounded ourselves with I-pads or laptops or both in my case, books, and various sundry items such as tomatoes. (a poor play at a pun) I do spend time writing jokes for a few Facebook pages such as ‘We Are Italians’, and ‘You Know You’re Italian When…’ and of course, Delbloggolo, voted the most unread blog in existence, even worse than the ones that haven’t been started yet.

Well, I must get back to my day, I’m behind on a nap and a few snacks.