If you can put aside the horror of the 100,000 deaths, deaths that are nothing to laugh at, there are some benefits to this thing.
For instance; HUGGING
I hate hugging, finding it awkward and annoying and makes my
skin crawl and is unmanly.
Did you ever notice that hugging has replaced the handshake
and even the kiss? What happens with this relatively new phenomenon is it
starts a few feet distance as one turns to the other and sets the arms
waist-high, crooked to look like a paralyzed crab, and slowly moves over to the
other. Your heads keep a distance as you embrace but not really body touch,
then to complete this stupid act, you pat ever so softly the persons back. The
‘HUG’ – UGH! Give me the damned old handshake and never mind this sissy stuff! How about doing what the Japanese do? Bow. No touching, no hugging, just a bow at a distance?
The mask-that thing that is like the value of money, almost
as valuable as toilet paper. Now, if you happen to be ugly and are afraid to
come out of your self-personal prison, you stayed away from people and
especially little children. Then, the mask came along, and suddenly, with
“Social distancing” you can go out and mingle with us really good-looking
people as you circulate, mind you, you’re still ugly but nobody is noticing.
The Mask – a boon to ugly people!
As an additional side benefit, you can now, as you walk down
a street in your new face-wear, successfully stick your tongue out at someone
without getting a punch in the nose as your tongue is hidden behind your mask!
Social distancing’ is the new normal. The rule is simple:
stay away at a minimal six feet from people when in public and you can start to
skip the morning shower! This is important because you can then stay in bed at
least 15-minutes longer in the morning. This also means you now have more time
before you spend your day sitting around the house as there is no place to go.
This distancing also cuts down on laundry as you don’t need to change your
underwear every day!
Gloves-A couple of days ago I saw a lady in a supermarket
wearing gloves - it was 73 degrees Fahrenheit outdoors, and the gloves were big
red woolen gloves, the snow and ice still stuck in the wool from the winter.
You can’t buy gloves anywhere since they are sold out and therefore you can’t
protect yourself from the lack of toilet paper! The rubber glove industry has
taken off and what costs pennies to make will now cost tens of dollars to buy.
However, there is a beauty to this, you can now write threatening notes to the
IRS or a preacher for a lousy sermon your Rabbi, Priest or Minister made
without leaving any fingerprints on the paper or whatever else you send them.
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