WHAT I MISS…

As we all sit in our homes, self-quarantined by the COVID-19 virus, we start to take stock. We look at what was once and is no more. The things that we took for granted are no longer allowed so we go missing them.

There are things I miss. Going to a restaurant and sitting with friends and reliving the past while I participate in one of my favorite pastimes, eating. Talking about things I did in the past, the people who were involved and where they are now all lent itself to the conversation reminiscence. That alone makes me appreciate what is gone.

I get into my car and don a mask and sometimes gloves, missing the freedom of just getting in the vehicle and starting up the engine and driving away. No mask, no gloves, and no focused mission of doing what needs to be done and taking precautions.

I miss shaking hands.

There were places I went to without restrictions and they remained open during regular business hours, are shuttered closed as if this was 1970s upstate New York, and the economic depression that existed there. I recall back then visiting Albany, Buffalo, and Utica once in the 80s and seeing that nothing was promising, no one in the streets or sidewalks, stores shuttered, the sense of loneliness and hopelessness. I recall looking for a restaurant to stop and dine and found nothing open. Now, there is not even that, nothing is open!

When I worked there was so much interaction that I needed to rest from it. Now, it is the one thing I need, I want to mingle with people and shop, work or even play. Nothing exists outside my house worth my doing.

So, I retreat to be within myself, creating what I can to stay alive and worthwhile if that is possible. But even then things can get stale, you can become depressed by no contact with the outside world, seemingly like solitary confinement, learning what a prisoner must feel.

I don’t know what will be in the future, what will be, will be. But this is for sure, I NEED to see my grandkids and children, I miss them all and want that part of my life back. I want to land at Burbank Airport and walk the long corridor to the baggage claim area outside the building and feel the beautiful California sunshine once again and hear the word: “Grandpa!” just one more time, again.