DOLLARS AND SCENTS

Every week I give myself an allowance to tide me over to the next week. Gas, minor expenses such as coffee or a bagel, and then I squirrel away the balance for gift buying for TLW (The Little Woman.) Sometimes I buy art supplies as a treat, once-in-a-while an article of clothing. Often, when she is home on Saturdays, I treat TLW to breakfast. I don’t take a whole lot of money, just enough. Once-in-a-while I purchase an item or two to make dinner more interesting.

Now TLW is my personal banker, which stems from the old days when I was working for myself, and I used her bank, or credit union because it didn’t cost me for a checking account, and I got her benefits and oversight for me, since she worked for the credit union.

Last night we got to discuss my weekly allowance, and TLW’s curiosity as to what I do with my money. (Just like a woman) She suggested that since I don’t go anywhere, I should have a full tank of gas, and a bulging wallet filled with money. I would rather discuss my underwear at the end of the day than my wallet at the end of the week. TLW is somehow running audits of my cash flow, and has a sense of how much I spend and how much I tuck away. Knowing that she is completely honest, I know she never ever violates my privacy, it is one thing that I am very proud of, her complete honesty. So how does she know what I have?

I suspect that when we were first married, she learned how to interrogate me in my sleep, and has applied her technique and advanced the method, to the point that she can advise the CIA, FBI, and even KGB.

She has an uncanny way of knowing everything about me. No wonder she doesn’t snoop, I must be tipping my hand. I can assure you, there is no way I could possibly pull off an affair, even if I was a thousand miles away from her, without her knowing.

When I suggested the fact that I spent so much money on this and that, she did a quick calculation and decided if it is true, she should get a $1200 gift for Christmas. After all, that would be left for gift money. I walked away from that argument unable to reply, when it dawned on me that she gets at least that much in a year’s worth of Christmas, anniversary, birthday, Mother’s Day and Valentines day gifts! It’s the old case of; “Gee I wish I had said THAT.”