OH, THE INHUMANITY!

This morning I open my e-mail and I find an e-mail from Jerry O’Hara, my nephew, making fun of my wardrobe! How would You like to wake up one day and find out your closet is the laughing stock of one of your nephews, who’s putting it all over the internet? As you can see, he was also poking fun of some of my furnishings, which is another low blow. The pictures he sent were from an early 1970’s JCPenney catalog.

I may be in my 60’s, but I consider myself hip, the bee’s knees, the cat’s pajamas, the snakes hips so to speak. Yes, I think of myself as pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty cool, a kind of Renaissance man, a fashion trendsetter.

The ties alone that I harbor from TLW (The Little Woman), including a green on green stripes with a paisley background in both muted browns and greens, one I got for purchasing my suit, back in 1974, which I prize dearly. (After all, I got it free!)

I don’t consider my suits “Old”, but timely. Like myself, I think they should be preserved. The fact is dear reader, they will come back someday, and I will have saved myself the expense of being fashionably dressed, while you are charging to your MasterCard.

My shoes, like my socks, come in various browns and blacks, which I have kept over the years and still wear, because my feet DON’T get fat. I mean, come on, shoes are shoes.

TLW over the years has actually badgered me about my wardrobe, telling me to throw out the stuff. Can you imagine? I suspect that she is very jealous of my frugality, my foresight into thinking ahead. But my thinking is, if I kept her around for all these years, wouldn’t it make sense to keep my wardrobe too? Think of all the confusion I avoid for my wife and kids, they would not recognize me in other clothes. It kind of creates a comfort zone, I would think.

TLW would not dare to throw out any of my stuff, because she knows I take inventory every other week. I have shirts with every kind of collar made, just waiting to be called up into service, as the trends change on 6th Avenue, London, Paris and Rome.