TACD

Yesterday I went to the eye doctor for my annual eye exam. I took all the preliminary drops, did some chart reading and had an attractive young lady look into my eyes. Unfortunately, she was on the other end of some kind of lens device. Then after about 15 minutes, the Doctor entered, applied his own lens device, read off some numbers to the assistant and talked to me.

He gave me some shocking news, yet I kind of knew it along, especially these last 6 or 7 years. It seems I have TACD, a disease that strikes people in their early 40’s to 60’s, and although curable, it needs constant monitoring, carefully diet and medications that can help it from becoming totally debilitating.

Luckily, for me, I already take the medications to keep in under control, but not all people do. It is a serious disability, and one out of about 3 or 4 persons have this dreaded disease.

The disease is called: Teen Age Cleanliness Disorder. The symptoms are a bedroom floor that hasn’t seen the light of days since the child was 13. It also includes dirty cups, dishes and dirty clothing, spread all around the floor. The reason it is spread around is that the teenager has lost track of the: Kitchen. Bureau, Desk and/or Night Stand, and while discarding whatever items they possess, become disoriented and forget they are discarding, thus the falling to the floor of said items. Other symptoms are: messy car, leaving of cups, dishes and cigarette butts all around the house. Will walk around in PJ’s all day if there is nothing going on until the midnight hour.

How does this affect me? I need to get a 9-foot titanium pole to stick into the pile to see if anyone is under it. Sometimes he is asleep, sometimes in class, sometimes camping out in the pantry looking to eat. If TLW (The Little Woman) decides to clean out the mess, which she does once a week, we don’t for some obscure reason want to remove the child by accident and leave him at the curb. I have to ask her why again to refresh my memory.

As I mentioned before, I take medications for the disease, such as high blood pressure medication, which helps keep my pressure at an even keel. Also, TLW does the actual fumigation, liter removal and necessary demolition to remove all the dirt, mess and crud.

The eye doctor is concerned about my condition because of the burned-in images that are attached to my retina. I explained to him that what is happening is that we like to keep the room as dark as possible, so that whenever I do turn on the light, it acts as a camera lens on photo film. He is prescribing a pair of goggles used to test atomic and hydrogen bombs for me to wear whenever I do open the lights again.

If you feel you are having the same symptoms I just described, please see you ophthalmologist as soon as possible, and get plenty of eye rest, drink plenty of fluids (preferably Jack Daniels) and start going to either a temple or church or your choosing.