GOING HIGH TECH

Yes, even I can go ‘High tech’, providing what I have is obsolete!

It seems TLW (The Little Woman) and I decided that since we enjoy NETFLIX so much, we would purchase a BLU RAY disc recorder and dump our DVD player.

You must be wondering why we would dump our DVD player, and I’ll tell you quite frankly, because TLW does not get along with it. Strange as it sounds, every time we put A DVD disc into it, when it is done, it refuses to return the disc to us. This makes TLW crazy, she yells at it, and gets me involved. What it does is come out for a nano-second, then return into the machine. We get nervous because we have a Netflix disc in it, and we now have to coax it out.

I took the new contraption out of the box and studied it. It is nasty, and I know we will have to argue over who puts it together. TLW then will go to Radioshack and bring home a 9-page dissertation, complete with diagrams, written in pencil.

She will tell me she thinks she knows what to do, and start reading. My hair will start to hurt, and I will picture myself in a white jacket with no frills, with my hands entwined behind my back.

We will then physically assemble everything, matching wires, looking for wires we don’t have and finding wires we don’t need. We will plug it into the TV and stick a DVD into it. It will ignore us, and not play. Then TLW will decide to pull out a universal remote, one of many we own, and try to program it. It too will be uncooperative and we will discover there are NO batteries in the remote.

Favorite Italian cuss words will come to mind, conjuring up images of dear old dad on the roof, fiddling with an antennae, while I was laughing hysterically as he did that, all the time making note of any new words he may have uttered for later translation.

Finally, we will get it to play, but only if I stand on one leg, while holding the string to the fan in the ceiling, while singing the national anthem!

It happens every time.

Hi-Tech, ugh!