POLED

Well the results of my pole are now in!

This very scientific attempt to answer whether or not I was a hood in high school is now over, and just in time! If you recall, I posted a question on December 11th’s blogue, and here are a sampling of answers.

My very first respondent came from my lovely sister-in-law Maureen, TLW’s (The Little Woman) sister and I quote: “Not even a touch!” Ah! I thought I was on my way to a sweeping resounding victory! I started a victory lap to the refrigerator, clapping my hands and singing the Notre Dame fight song. Well maybe only the first few words since that is all I know.

Then of course there was the instigator of this whole sordid affair, Pam, who made the statements to begin with: “And what about the duck hair cut?” It was like a knife, piercing and stabbing into my very being, reminding me that I was a hood! Surely my faithful readers would come to my rescue?

Not long after, came another response, this I figured to be good, after all, Jim, or ‘Jimmy pants’ (his mafia days at summer camp) as he was known in the hood, would back me up. We came from the same backgrounds, same elementary school, and almost the same block. His affirmation was a simple one-word response: “HOOD!”

Chest fallen, I turned to a Jack Daniels Manhattan and returned to my e-mail. From the far corners of the earth (New Jersey) came a response, that if it didn’t make me feel better, at least it didn’t make me feel too bad. This coming from an old classmate Kathy Sperakis, and here are her words: “I personally don't think you looked like a HOOD in school, you looked more like a bay kid to me!! LOL” (A bay kid was the opposite of a normal person, without a swish, who lived near the bay, and wore penny loafers kakis and had a normal haircut with a button-down shirt. (It actually WAS the way I almost dressed one day, but my sister wanted her penny loafers back, and besides, they were really pinching my feet!)

Then there was Sista Tanj-Gerina, who simply wrote: “I’m telling your mother on you!” This made me worried since I was spending my allowance on cigarettes and now Mom will ask me for the money back, or smack me with a wooden spoon!

To add to my misery and lack of confidence, came Toots II, from the Wanna-Be-Bank and Truss Company, who stated so eloquently: “I've seen you in that black leather
jacket and though ....HOOD!!! Lois”

To pad my confidence even further came this reply from The Princess of Foxwoods Points who chimed in: “Of course there is "hood" in you. You grew up in Brooklyn. Need I say more!!! Pat” NO PAT, YOU NEED NOT SAY MORE. Go back to the Wanna-Be-Bank and Truss Company with your buddy Lois.

Then to top it all off, Sista Tanj-Gerina sends me a Christmas Card stating I surprised her by not being the same nerdie guy I was in high school!

AND SO DEAR READERS, I GUESS PAM WAS RIGHT, I AM A HOOD!

Well maybe a herd or a nood, or whatever.

I am not happy.